Drowning in Fertility Advice? An Embryologist's Guide to What Actually Matters
When Sarah Laver talks about egg and embryo quality, she's speaking from eleven years spent looking down the microscope. As an embryologist, she watched 'poor quality' embryos become babies and 'top quality' embryos not make it, and that experience shapes everything about how she now works as a nutritional therapist supporting people through fertility treatment.
I wanted to talk to Sarah because so many of my coaching clients describe the same thing: they're not short of information, they're drowning in it. They've read the books, joined the forums, bought the supplements, and they still lie awake wondering if they're doing the right things. Sarah's approach is refreshingly different. Instead of adding to the list, she helps people work out what matters most for them, what can wait, and what they're allowed to put down entirely.
That word, allowed, is why I knew this conversation belonged here. So much of my work is about giving people permission to stop carrying everything at once, and Sarah brings the science to back that up. Here's our conversation.
Jen: “You spent eleven years in the IVF laboratory as an embryologist. What insight has that given you into your work now?”
Sarah: “I spent days studying eggs, sperm and embryos. Occasionally I saw 'top quality' embryos not achieve positive results, and I saw 'poor quality' embryos lead to that positive test and a live birth. Obviously, we know that embryos with the higher grades do, on average, lead to a greater number of positive results, but I think my time taught me that 'quality' is far more than just what we can see down the microscope. We aren't able to easily visualise, in the lab, what the DNA is doing inside the cells (aside from PGT-A), or whether the mitochondria are functioning well, but we do know that both of those factors may be supported from the preparation phase prior to IVF. So that is where my focus is placed now; supporting the 'machinery' inside the cells to function as effectively as possible, via nutritional and lifestyle strategies, to support quality.”
Jen: “You say people aren't short of information, they're drowning in it, and still don't know if they're doing the right things. How do you help someone go from drowning in information to knowing what's right for them?”
Sarah: “When I work 1:1 with a client it is easier for me to assess their symptoms, health conditions, current dietary and lifestyle patterns, alongside blood results, and see where to place focus. I'm like a project manager overseeing it all and directing the support. It's harder to do when that personalised attention isn't possible, but I'm aware that not everyone has the luxury of 1:1 support. Then, it is a case of helping someone to see where the bigger gains may come from, and to put down some of the other areas. People try to implement lots of different approaches to maximise their fertility but that can often lead to increased stress and pressure which is actually working against what they're trying to optimise. For example, I encourage people to reassess what supplements they're taking and to ask themselves if they really know why they're taking those particular ones. Have they checked their blood levels of iron and vitamin D? If they're taking extra support for those, do they need it? From a dietary perspective, focusing on a whole food Mediterranean style of eating will be supporting their fertility. There is no fertility 'super food', and no need to over complicate what they eat. Therefore just following a sensible dietary pattern with minimal intake of UPF foods will be helping. Listening to their body, and treating their health symptoms as messages rather than inconveniences, may allow them to realise what is in need of more attention. If they are feeling incredibly overwhelmed, maybe focusing on giving their nervous system a little attention is the most important thing for them at that time, rather than trying to implement a new morning routine or weekly exercise regime. I try to encourage simplifying what they can, whilst still supporting the foundations of nutrition, sleep, movement, and nervous system support in an easily achievable way.”
Jen: “Your new programme, The Fertility Map, is unique because it doesn't add to someone's list, instead, it helps them sort their existing information into what's high impact, what can wait, and what they're allowed to let go of entirely. When I was going through years of ttc, miscarriages and IVF I definitely piled up my to do list, whether it was throwing myself into work or adding types of exercise that were good for blood flow, or certain foods to my diet. Why is letting go so much harder than adding more?”
Sarah: “As humans I think we tend to think that more is going to get us to our goal quicker, and when that goal is something that is so desperately wanted, it is normal to pile so many different demands on the body. Striving for perfection, because perfection is what we believe leads to results; or at least we think. So letting go of things may naturally feel like not trying our best. What is important to realise, and this obviously does differ for different individuals, is that the pressure of trying to get the perfect supplement regime, managing your resistance training and evening meditations, avoiding gluten because it may be inflammatory, turning down social invites to avoid a late night, may end up creating their own 'stress' and work against fertility goals. I'm not saying that all those things aren't useful to implement in the right cases, but if there is a pressure to achieve them all, then sometimes it's good to put a few down, even if only temporarily.”
Jen: “Tell us about The Fertility Map. You describe people ending up with their own map, a clear sense of what matters for them, built from everything they've already gathered. Who's it for, why did you create it, and where can people find you?”
Sarah: “The Fertility Map is a self-guided programme with live weekly support that is as close to a download of my brain's thought processes as I could get in a non-personalised setting. I created it to offer people a lower cost way to focus their fertility support, and to understand how I may prioritise in certain situations. It covers the foundational elements of nutrition, lifestyle, nervous system, and environmental toxins, helping people to assess where they are in those areas and whether they may need to place more focus in one area more than another. In the nutrition module, it's encouraging them to identify any symptoms that they may be experiencing, and directing them to particular nutritional strategies for supporting those areas of health first. It also discusses supplements and testing, highlighting the key nutrients that I personally always consider with my clients, along with certain nutrients that may be helpful in other cases. From a testing perspective, I direct to some options that may have been overlooked and as to when they could be helpful, especially in those situations when you have been told it is 'unexplained'. Empowering people with the knowledge of what they are able to look at, and when that may be beneficial, is something I'm very keen to share. It's not meant to provide anything extra to add to the to-do list, rather it's just providing the knowledge of what's out there to help possibly get them some answers.
People can find me on Instagram @the_embryologist_nutritionist, online at theembryologistnutritionist.co.uk, or email me at sarah@theembryologistnutritionist.co.uk. Doors to The Fertility Map are currently closed, but you can join the waitlist to be first to hear when they reopen.”
The Fertility Map is currently closed for enrolment, but Sarah has opened a waitlist for the next round — you can join it here. And if the career side of all this is what's weighing on you, that's where I come in. You know where I am and you can book a free call here.
